Saturday, March 31, 2012

Peace, death and a strawberry shake

Yesterday morning I woke up at 8am with an overwhelming sense of peace. It was a feeling like everything is just right. Right at that very moment, every little thing was ok. I didn't have to rush to make anyone breakfast, or get my lovebuckets up and out of bed for school or work. 


I got up, let my dog outside, prepared his food and poured myself a cup of coffee. He ate quickly then ran to my oldest daughter's room, jumped on her bed and greeted her with kisses. She started to tell me about a dream she had so I snuggled in bed with her to warm up and fully listen. We interpreted her dream until we were satisfied with the reasoning of the subconscious. We both got up to start our day - she got in the shower, I grabbed my iPad and was still cold so decided to read my daily news feed and check emails under the covers of my own bed. 


That feeling of peace was still lounging in my heart. I put down my morning reading, opened the drapes behind my bed and gazed at the young Hong Kong Orchid tree we've been nurturing. 


My mind starts to question this overwhelming sense of peace this morning. I am learning to let go of questioning during the quiet and just listen. I closed my eyes and listened for a few minutes then I wondered what does my peaceful self look like? So I took a self portrait:


I smiled at my peaceful portrait and got up to carry this feeling throughout my day. I plugged my phone in to be charged, walked into my studio and started working. After a while I went to check my phone and saw I had missed calls and text messages. They were messages of my dear Aunt Rita's death. She left her body behind at 7am that morning. She was one hell of a courageous woman. Her body fought with the painfully dreadful disease of scleroderma for over 20 years.

Now, her soul knows only peace. 

She was an amazing artist and always fully supported my own art ventures. She knew I loved the paintings of Georgia O'Keefe so she bought Georgia's autobiography for me to learn about the woman behind the art. When I was 12, my Aunt Rita walked me out the front door of her home in the Bay Area and pointed to a mountain ridge - Mt. Tamalpais, also known as the Sleeping Maiden. At 12 years old, right before my family moved from the only home I knew to out of state and into the unknown - she showed me a new way to see and look toward the mountain tops. I never forgot that. 

My Aunt Rita is actually my "Great" Aunt. She is my Grandmother's sister. They lived just two miles apart and were so very close. My Grandmother was her sister, her best friend, confidant and as the years went by she became her care giver. A few weeks ago I had the most valuable time of spending a day with my Grandmother. Just her and I talking story. One of my favorite stories she shared with me was of my Aunt Rita's last outing. 

My Grandmother decided, then demanded her sister needed to get outside. Aunt Rita was so frail at 90 lbs, she just never had the energy nor the will to go out anymore. My Grandmother helped her get ready, bundled her up and said they were going out for a drive. They drove around the hills of their neighborhood in Nipomo. Two sisters in a beautiful white Cadillac - cruising the 'hood. 

They ended up at McDonald's because my Grandmother felt her sister needed a shake. A strawberry shake. And everyone knows, you can't have a shake without some fries. So the two sisters got their shakes, a small fry and headed home for a picnic in the sun. My Grandfather dusted off chairs and assembled them in the patio. When the sisters got home, they made their way to the patio and had their picnic. The sun warmed Aunt Rita's back while she enjoyed her last strawberry shake with her sister. 

I was so touched by this story. The simplicity of joy from an afternoon drive and a strawberry shake in the sun. I shared this story with my youngest daughter yesterday after we heard the news of Aunt Rita's passing. Later that afternoon she came home with two strawberry shakes. It brought me to tears.


We sat in the sun and toasted to Aunt Rita, sisterhood, love and life. Live fully, love fully.

Thank you Aunt Rita, for everything. We love you.

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